He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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