so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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