I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
