So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
