I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
