Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
And then he peed in my hair
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
