her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize