last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
