Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
