Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
