Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
