just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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