I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
