so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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