dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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