I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
