Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Houston, we have a blender
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
