I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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