Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
this just has baby written all over it
She's the barista slut.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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