Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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