i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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