so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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