So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
