Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I need moral support for this bender
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
