my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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