I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize