You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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