I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
