lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
