so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
