I never want to see another naked old woman again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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