why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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