I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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