Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dicks are not precious.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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