I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
