she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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