You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
