your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize