? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize