I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
