I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
