Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
