I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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