She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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