i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
