You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
