Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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