You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize