ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
