I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize