um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
