super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sext me about skeletons
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
