Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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