Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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