I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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