i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
