You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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