Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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