are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
