He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize