I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
