bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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