it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
