Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
