so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
