Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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