It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
