We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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