Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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