I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
