i will never coherently bang her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
