I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
