Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
