i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
