what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
