She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Life without a bra equals bliss.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
