obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
