chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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