So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
