She's JV to your varsity
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
