Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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